Ok. Not exactly fired. Laid off due to budget constraints. I knew something was wrong when I heard my manager announce that HR was also on the t-con. Having HR around is never a good sign. I said to myself ‘here we go’!!! And I held on to my emotions tightly with a death hold grip for what seemed like the longest 10 minutes of my life.
I have worked in corporate America (at the same company) for 17 years. I have a Bachelors degree of Science in Information technology. I am a high performer and I’ve never gotten a bad review in my entire career. I’ve received many awards for a job well done on many projects I’ve worked on both international and domestic…. I did not see it coming and I had no advanced warning.
And although I held it together on the conference call and was able to let out the words at the end, ‘no, I don’t have any questions, thank you’. I hung up the phone and immediately I felt a myriad of emotions. It was the weirdest thing I’ve experienced. I was happy, sad, nervous, excited, terrified, and my anxiety was through the roof. I was physically shaking. Unable to even put pen to paper. My head was pounding and my heart was about to burst. Tears streaming down my face as I was laughing hysterically at the same time. Talk about a dichotomy.
With things like these sometimes you just find yourself as the last one standing in the game musical chairs.
The time I put in does not matter. To a big corporation like this I’m just a number. Simply a headcount to reduce in order to increase profits and help the bottom line.
I’m sure it was a difficult situation for my boss, someone with whom I’ve worked with and known for over a decade. I found myself feeling bad for him that he had to do this. Isn’t that funny and interesting? It isn’t his choice. He was just told what he needed to do and just executed his orders.
The other funny thing is that I think that the universe conspired to give me exactly what I asked for. I hated my job. I dreaded it every single day. This wasn’t always the case. In the past year my roles and responsibilities had changed and I was unhappy. I told the universe that I would quit as soon as my fitness business surpassed my ‘day job’ income level. Maybe that wasn’t a specific enough timeline for the universe or maybe the universe trusts, loves and believes in me so much that it thinks I’m ready now? Maybe it knows better?
So now onto bigger things. Time to help MORE people. Something I absolutely love and am extremely passionate about. I can give the people who need me even more of myself and my time.
So thanks, universe. I’m excited (and yes, still terrified). Please send all of the good vibes and advice to me and my family as we go through this life changing experience.
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